Zzzzzz....

Falling down..
and falling more..
i look up..
i hear myself snore..
i look around..
i hear the same sounds..
and then i look down..
and behold..
i am on the ground.

This dream i have..
and having..
has no bases..
has no bearing..
but this falling sensation..
is strangely familliar..
as i've had it before..
when i cannot snore.

Yes when i am awake..
and alive and well..
well behold..
a dark deep well.
Bricks around..
gurgling sounds..
but water there be none..
yes the snoring has begun.

But i am awake again..
and this time.. for sure!
i look around me..
well.. i look some more..
i see nothing..
i see no one..
i see an abyss..
bloody hell.. i think i'm falling.
but this time..
there be no snoring.

so what does this mean..
what may i infer..
is this death..
am i in hell..
but i thought i was alive..
i thought.. i was well.

these bricks surround me..
surround me some more..
claustrophobia astounds me..
these walls have no door..
i seem to be shaken..
i seem to be afraid..
why is this happening..
am i.. insane..

my pants feel wet..
but the well be dry..
my sphincter muscles have failed me..
yet my mouth has gone dry..
i suddenly feel myself rising..
rising out of this bore..
fun behold!
i am back.. outdoors!!
it is all so alluring..
and yet.. i hear myself snoring.

The Ugly, the Ugly and the Ugly.

So im thinking.. the elections between UPA and NDA have resulted in conversations on issues such as - Hindutva, Communalism, Secularism, Development, Human Rights, Religion et all.

i dont understand any of these conversations. I act like i do. I take a side. but the truth is, a few mins later im wondering whether my side is any better. but then.. is it my side? or is it just 'a' side.

eitherways, i think one possible 'problem' is that we judge things on the basis of relativity. We say it is better, and not that it is good. but we've been doing this for so long, that our 'better' is eventually re-labled 'good'. Thus the next time we will have a conversation around that topic, we will say.. they are good. Which has to mean, the other side we are arguing against are bad. Thus we have just defined what is good and bad. bummer.

The congress - and my limited knowledge points at the delhi massacre involving Sindians*.
The bjp - and again, my limited knowledge highlights the gujrat massacre involving Mindians*.

So thus how can we say one is good, and one is bad. I have lately.. actually very lately.. or should i just say.. this very second.. come to the conclusion that maybe we never believed in good and bad. We just use them as labels for what is actually.. 'what i agree with' and 'what i do not agree with'. BUT then.. how can we agree with either. i'm probably not making any sense.. and strangely this may just be the most senseless post on this blog.. as of yet.

But i'd like to end by mentioning a movie i unfortunately could not watch. 'The Good, the Bad and the Ugly'.. i think it was called. My guess is.. 'the Ugly' is supposed to imply.. that there is no such thing as good and bad.. everyone is plain UGLY.

U know why i voted for a paticular party.. i thought they were less UGLY. Relativity zindabad!

* yup.. it doesnt really deserve an explanation.

It is okay to be gay

It is okay to be gay

say what you got to say now,
just keep your mind open,
do what u got to do now,
forever and always.

speak what you feel like speaking,
but know what your saying,
cause others maybe listening,
and they might not like what u say!

most people have hearing,
most people have feeling,
many without knowing,
can also be gay.

flowers they may like,
and for men they may fight,
pink may be in,
and with one hole they may sin,
but always remember,
the truth of the day.

We all have desires,
beliefs that start fires,
ideologies we may follow,
change them tomorrow,
but at the end of the day,
it is okay to be gay.

many are illiterate,
many are immature,
many inadequate,
which depresses their very core.

many see reason,
many seek reason,
their beliefs they value,
for they believe they have values.

at a tender age we argue,
we scream and we shout,
haranguing is the word,
for that is, what we are about.

our weapons we muster,
ammunition is a plenty,
mushroom clouds are emerging,
as we seek our prey.

no more we seek reason,
as we believe to have found it,
in the wet eyes of others,
in their whimpers, is our gain.

resistance is futile,
so great is the fury,
the enemy is oneself,
the irony of the day!

but the end is near,
as we seek our victory,
to succumb to our emotions,
be it apathy.

hatred for one and all,
that be the warcry for all,
scream that aloud,
as we lie unprepared for the fall.

fall we will,
fall we must,
blinded by hatred,
blinded by lust.

the end is now,
the sky is covered,
blind people clash,
with the many they once loved.

mistrust is the word now,
the word of the day,
as our mouths lie open,
to the destruction at bay.

we seek for that reason,
the reason we had,
but we fail to find it,
as the crows feast and be gay.

Gold Digger

Gold Digger

I sit on the pot,

And i ponder over many thoughts,

One such thinkling,

Is mankinds daily search for gold.

This gold aint sparkly,

It don’t reflect much light,

It be all yellow, maybe green,

Sometimes white.

But before we proceed with the quest,

i.e. the gold we seek, in the dual chambered nest,

a subtle selection process ensues,

as a miner is needed, to mine the goo.

A little after we leave the womb,

The process begins,

The all important search,

Among the ten contenders,

Among whom only one will emerge miner!

So who will be hired?

Among the ten, five initially are not desired,

It begins with a fight between the left, and the right,

The connection to present day politics, is extremely, shite!

At this stage, the five are tested,

Sometimes, one at a time, or even two,

Three is an impossibility,

As the caves are meant only, for a few.

As time wears on,

The miners dig through thick and thin,

They themselves ponder,

Over the value of their mining.

The miners are unpaid,

The gold is rejected,

But the mining is quintessential,

As the chambers are, uninfested.

They go in,

They come out,

Booty, behold,

The gold has been dug out!

But one wonders upon the utility of this gold,

The value is in question,

Many eat it,

But i personally reject it.

---------

The Kala Bandar vs. Zombie [Round 999~]

Delhi 6..
Kala Bandar..

So, i'm thinking..

The Kala Bandar Concept.

There is a Kala Bandar (translated as Black Monkey) inside all of us. This monkey is a metaphor for the irrational, emotional, and highly animalistic personality that we all possess, and may bring to light, as and when we like. Maybe there is no such thing, and this tanned monkey is an excuse for our tendency to look at situations, and deal with scenario's in a highly immature, and unpragmatic manner. Sometimes we like to do the 'wrong' thing. We like to scream, shout, and run about, we like to point, blame, and create all kinds of doubt. We even like to curse, damage, and proclaim ourselves superior to another. Maybe we just like the 'change'.. life can get boring. Hence we tap into this black monkey inside all of us, give him a set of plates to bang, and bang, till he can get all the attention in the world.

So the what and the why may be clear. The question is 'Can the Black Monkey' be put to sleep'?

Ans.

No he cant. Unless you take to a life of meditation, and spend the remainder of your days in Tibet. Alas.. they have their monkeys coming out of their monkey ridden closets as well.

But.. then maybe he can. (i'm assuming the kala bandar is solely a male disorder*)

Accept the monkey. attempt at taming him. train him. Ironically the monkey will cease to exist. As there will be no difference between the monkey, and your normal average pleasant zombie of a personality. hence finally your Zombie personality will overcome the Monkey personality. Yes the Zombie will overcome the Monkey. you read correctly.

But now are you better off being a Zombie?

My understanding of the Zombie personality.. is probably the opposite of the 'Howard Roark' character from the book Fountainhead. [Zombie personality = All personalities / no. of people] I'm assuming that explains it.

But this is where it gets interesting.. what if we go back to my priorly stated possibility of there being no such thing as a 'Flee monster' inside of us. It's just an excuse. An excuse for a zombie personality.. with actual zombie like tendencies which emerge over time. Watch - Land of the Dead (The lead zombie represents the present day man). I mean it makes sense. Zombie's by nature, to the best of my knowledge, desire flesh. They like killing things which are killable or better known as alive things. They dont have any fresh blood being pumped, as there is no pumping device (there is no heart - too cliche), so the brain doesnt work to the best of its abilities. Many argue it doesnt work at all.

Suddenly, the kala bandar doesnt seem like such a bad thing. Its a manfestation of the Zombie killer tendencies coming to the forefront.

What i dont understand.. and probably why im writing this piece of.. writing.. is.. why are Zombies killing Zombies? It goes against nature.

No make sense. (a feeling ive tried to potray through this collection of words)

*the assumtion has been made on account of the lack of female characters suffering from KB, in the cinematic production that inspired me to write this.

Yellow-Pink-Polished tiles

i'm thinking..

well.. actually i'm on my way back from 'The Reader' @ Sterling.. in the cab, dads in the front seat, sis by my side. the taxi is parallel to oval maidan, on the way to my house. its probably 1am. and i notice that the footpath's been redone. as in.. they've replaced the year-old jigsaw piece tiles, the yellow, pink, and sometimes yellow-pink and polished ones.. with the grooves on them.. grooves that are meant to add the little bit of friction to your daily walking.. strolling.. running.. on these yellow-pink-polished tile laden footpaths.. SO.. these all important, life-changing, stability-to-daily-walking providing.. tiles have been redone. They've been dug up, and brand new maybe new model, or older model, tiles have been put in their place. I wonder why.. do these new tiles have more grooves?? are they capable of providing us with more friction?? and in turn, more stability.. i dont know.

but then i ponder some more.. 5 mins from my house.. so dont have much more time.. just passed mantralay.. what really made my one neuron charge up on this footpath-tile topic was.. a thought. How does a street beggar, or any fellow who sleeps on the footpaths look at these tiles. whats their perspective.. do they find utility in these tiles. It all began around a year back i suppose.. deshmukh kickstarted this.. so how did the beggar look at these tiles then.. did he see purpose.. did he feel.. the government is re-doing his bed.. making his sleep all that more peacefull.. i mean, instead of building shelters with beds, this makes more sense right. i dont know. maybe he just accepted it.. went to another footpath till his bed was redone. did he notice the new grooves on the tiles.. the carefull colour combination of yellow and pink.. the light-reflecting varnish!! .. ooh.. a bed fit for a king.

back to the present, he is taken aback.. someone has dug up his bed.. yet again. now what does he think? he is staring at the tiles.. but then he is distracted by the taxi that rushes past him. its 1 am. maybe he's wondering.. what do the fellows in the taxi.. who are probably paying for these tiles.. thinking? do they want to re-do his bed? he doesnt know.